Tinderella: Can You Fall in Love Online?

In a time when we must distance, we’re all trying to get a little closer. When bars, clubs, coffee shops, and even the local parks are closed, where are we all trying to meet someone that makes our chests tighten? Is it even possible to form a meaningful connection when physically we’re apart? And if it is, how do you do it? In a generation of romantics, and don’t tell me we aren’t, look at the films we devour, we are obsessed with the possibility of love, acceptance, or maybe just Timothée Chalamet. And how do we balance this romance laden fantasy with the somewhat depressing reality that dating today is summed with one word: Tinder.

The dating world is rapidly changing, we used to use Tinder as a tool to make dating easier, but in a world that is quickly being limited to you and your iPhone we’re going to start relying on apps like Tinder to date. In a world where everyone seemingly wants to be seen, I’m not sure how easy it’ll be to see each other anymore. Which brings me to, how easy is it to fall in love with someone you’ve never met? And I don’t really know the answer to that. Everyone falls in love in different ways for different reasons. Most of the time you can’t even tell the real reason why you love someone. You just do. There’s a part of me that thinks this pandemic could be good, that there’s a silver lining through all this sadness and fear and death. In some senses it will bring us closer together, makes us remember all the reasons we want to see each other.

So how do we use apps like Tinder to get us what we want? I think one of the very basic things that we forget is to be very honest about what we want. If you know that you’re looking for a girlfriend, that you don’t want to hookup with someone, you need to tell them. This should take place within the first few days of talking. You don’t have to say you want to date them, but you should be honest about what you want. And if they tell they want something else? Believe them. Do not think you can change their minds, in some cases you might be able to, but do not assume you can. Besides, why would you want to date someone who doesn’t want to date you? The only other thing you can really do to make someone like you is to listen and be supportive and positive, and pay attention. Chances are they’re telling a lot about who they are and you can decide if who they are is someone you can see yourself with. Dating is hard, it’s difficult to open yourself up to people over and over, and have it not work out over and over. Traditionally, it only really works once. But I think that one time is probably worth all the others.

Tinder and apps like it are really great right now, they’re a reminder that we’re not alone, that other people out there are feeling kinda lonely too. All of us want to be seen and heard by someone, all of us want to know that we’re good and we’re lovable. Even Timothée Chalamet. But do not forget, that loving and accepting yourself is the most important. The person you’re looking for is probably really amazing, but you’re amazing too. And it’s important you know that. You’re going to have a beautiful life with lots of people who love you, and who knows? One of them might be someone you met off of Tinder.