Let’s Talk About the Word “Flattering”

With the come and go of prom season, you may have noticed a rising trend on TikTok where individuals would show off the prom dresses they didn’t buy. Some leave their reasons undisclosed, but many list the different reasons why they didn't choose each of the dresses they tried on. This content starts an interesting conversation about self perception and the word “flattering.” 

The word “flattering” can be exchanged with the word “enhancing.” It is a word used to critique how clothing fits the figure, and if the clothing one wears enhances their figure, that clothing is then defined as flattering. However, this word is often used in a negative light. In these videos, one of the most common reasons for not getting a dress is because it doesn’t accentuate one’s 

figure perfectly. The dress, then, is deemed unflattering. 

The term is thrown around easily, and it has become a normalized way of saying that one’s body doesn’t look good in something. Often, this is due to one’s perception of their own body and personal insecurities. Under these videos, you will often see viewers who comment an opposing opinion–how the “unflattering” dress the creator didn’t pick was actually their favorite, for example. This is an example of how this term is subjective, and how one’s personal insecurities can influence what they personally define as flattering. 

However, this term is also extremely objective. Society and the fashion industry have immensely defined what is flattering. The hourglass figure is flattering. Thinness is flattering. Largely, this system defines what looks “good” and what looks “bad,” and these factors are determined by the beauty standard. One can say that they didn’t pick a specific prom dress because it “wasn’t flattering,” but this can often be equated to “I didn't like how the outline of my stomach looked in this dress,” or “the cut of this dress made my arms look big,” among other insecurities. The word “flattering,” in this sense, becomes a normalized and digestible way for people to insult their bodies based on the beauty standard. 

This is not to say, though, that one can’t wish to feel comfortable and confident in the clothing they wear. Wear what makes you happy, always! It’s just important to evaluate how the clothing that makes us feel good or happy often correlates with the clothing that makes us look thin and like the ideal body type.