Ten Pieces of Advice from a Semi-Jaded College Student

In 2019, I was a senior in high school and, as such, I was incredibly stressed for college decisions to come out.  Truth be told, I applied to only a handful of schools and got into less than half of them.  One of the schools was the University of Chicago, where I go now.  But as someone who has thought of transferring more than once since being here, I can say with confidence that where you go to college matters… just probably not in the way you think.  Here are ten things I wish I knew before choosing my college, and before starting college at all.

Having a brand-name on your sweatshirt doesn’t matter.

Everyone wants a “Harvard” or “Yale” sweatshirt, but the sweatshirt isn’t everything.  Yes, fancy names are impressive in conversation, but none of this really matters if you are not happy socially or academically.  Put simply, worry less about impressing others, do what is genuinely best for you.  Half way into my freshman year I was begging my parents to let me transfer to UC Santa Cruz.  Sometimes I wish I had.

School culture doesn’t matter… kind of.

Brown was my first choice school for no other reason than everyone on the tour seemed really kind and the arts scene seemed to be flourishing.  I didn’t get in and cried about it for a week straight.  I can say with confidence that I am not a good fit with the “culture” at the University of Chicago: I don’t find a feeling of superiority in getting less sleep than my peers, I am not driven by the goal of being a millionaire, and I genuinely do not believe “sleep deprivation is temporary, GPA is forever” (yes, the university actually sent that last one out in an email).  However, I still have a wonderful group of friends who I love dearly and treasure.  In the circles and spaces I am a part of, I feel welcome and wanted; the outside culture does not matter.  Whatever the “culture” of a school is, there is always a diverse array of subcultures that are flourishing and will welcome you with open arms.  That being said, I want to punch a wall talking to a stuck-up preppy econ bro at least once a week.

Don’t worry about your major unless you have to.

When I first came to UChicago, I was deadset on being a HIPS major (the History, Philosophy, and Social Studies of Science and Medicine).  However, for an entire year my academic advisor forgot to tell me I had to take a three quarter chemistry sequence to complete the major on time.  I figured this out too late and literally was made unable to finish the major.  Months passed.  A third year in my house invited me to apply to a series of workshops on public policy since she was leading one about the intersection of arts and activism and knew I played guitar.  I agreed to attend and within the year committed to be a public policy major.  I could not be more content in my studies.  

However, there is a caveat to my experience.  If you really want to be a doctor, if med school is your calling, you will probably have to enter college with that in mind.  Most STEM majors really truly take a full four years to finish.  

Your friends will change and that is ok.

In my state of social desperation, isolation, and misery freshman year, I stumbled into a group of friends who at the time were really lovely.  I never felt especially close to them and in hindsight was a total mismatch to them on every level imaginable.  The group fell apart pretty much the second we were sent home for quarantine and honestly that was probably for the best.  It brought me closer to a lot of other really great people in my life I would not have gotten close to otherwise.  Your group of friends during orientation will probably not be your friends through the end of freshman year, and those freshman year friends will probably not be your friends through the rest of college.  And that is ok.  

Start off easy.

I entered the first quarter of freshman year at maximum drive and decided to take chemistry and calculus together, along with a full set of four classes… and what a mistake it was.  I had diminished time for meeting people and making friends, as most of my peers had made the wiser choice to start off with three classes.  You don’t have to dive into the intense stuff right away.  Give yourself time to adjust.  

Self-care is critical.

That being said, it’s important to keep a similar approach throughout the entirety of college.  Self care matters.  This looks different for everyone.  It might mean taking time to exercise regularly, getting outside, hanging out with friends, making sure you’re getting enough sleep, or getting set up with a mental healthcare provider.  Whatever works for you, make sure to prioritize it.  You will likely burn out within the quarter/semester if you don’t.  

You do not have to be best friends with your roommate. 

My roommate and I might just be the most polar opposite people on this campus.  I identify as leftist and my roommate was rather far right, far enough to not believe in global warming.  While we had our fair share of heated debates, we also coexisted fairly well.  We respected each others privacy and belongings, weren’t excessively noisy or bothersome, and shared similar ideas of how tidy or messy the room should be kept.  We have not hung out since being sent home and have no plans of it, but all in all it was a fine experience.  The roommate relation has been fiercely over romanticized.  You really just need someone you feel comfortable living with.  Do not worry if you and your roommate are not fast friends.

Embrace your interests.

In high school, I poured my heart and soul into my academics and, while it definitely helped get me into UChicago, it was draining.  In hindsight, I honestly don’t know how I worked that hard.  In pursuit of college--and as a result of a fair deal of familial pressure and conditioning--I threw away many of my interests, from creative writing to music.  This changed when I got into college and for once in my life had the space to explore what actually mattered to me.  I joined the staff of Soul Talk in January 2020, as well as the staff of Slumber Magazine.  In March 2020, I formed my band, Puddlejumper and a wrote, recorded, and released a debut EP.  I started writing poetry that was published in five zines in 2020 alone.  More than anything, I really got to find who I actually am as a person aside from who those around me told me I was, or who I should be.  Very few of my interests have any application to my college experience, even to the clubs available to me at the University of Chicago, but they still bring joy into my life as a college student.  This is not to discount clubs, I am sure there are some amazing clubs and people at colleges.  I just happened to have very little time to find them before college was shut down in light of the pandemic.

Take classes just for fun.

While it’s important to choose a major you enjoy, it’s equally important to take classes that just seem interesting for random, various reasons.  Taking classes that just spark your interest every now and then is a great way of expanding your interests and knowledge base, meeting interesting people, and simply having fun.  For example, I took a medical anthropology class this past quarter and loved it so much I momentarily thought about double majoring in anthropology.  It doesn’t have to lead to anything significant; sometimes it is just fun to learn something new.

Respect your boundaries.  You don’t have to do everything.  You don’t have to be everyone’s friend.

You will meet a lot of new people in college.  Some of them will be amazing friends, and some of them will be complete and utter assholes.  The majority will fall somewhere in between.  The important thing to remember is that you do not have to be everyone’s friend.  You do not have to do the things that will make everyone like you.  Be who you are.  Become the most authentic version of yourself possible.  And seriously just calm down about the rest because I promise you it will be ok.